boys keep strumming those guitars

another day of quiet anonymous rebellion.
i was afraid i wouldnt find anything rebellious enough so i added a couple of words around, hoping no one will notice. two words, those two words which already mean a lot on their own.

days go by but not two of them are similar. all the things that matter have this annoying tendency of slipping out of my reach. what i felt good about yesterday is gone today, and so are all the reasons why i should feel the way i do. i tried to keep them handy, just in case, but i turned my back and they ran away. i let go. there's no way i can fight against the horrible abstraction of those ideas & values i never really had a grip on. they were always blew by the wind and i was the only one who thought i could catch them. it's like you wake up one day and find out there's nothing you know around no more. you just have to start onto something fresh and new but it's never as easy. always easier said, in the evening with your eyes sparkling and your mind in the depth of a dream, than done. i know. and that's why i let go.
overall i got so few to say, so much to do. the words still can't stop leaking out of my mouth and splashing around me as if the sound of it will make a difference. i'm soaking wet by this rain and sometimes i figure it as all the things i care about falling down and somehow melting into me again.
all these persons that try to relate to me but that are never quite able to.

i fell asleep at school and dreamed of two hands tattooed on my wrist. i could smell the earthy scent of ink on the black lines in my skin. they were palms up, lifted to offer something to a black sky full of rainy clouds or waiting for something to be delievered from above. i didn't really know.

one day i should start saying things straight.